So tell me if I am understanding biblical doctrine correctly?
God made me and all other persons of the earth past, present and future. God created/designed me (and everyone) fallen, sinful, and with free will. If I use that free will and choose not to worship God/Jesus or withhold belief that God/Jesus is my saviour (from the sins he made me with), even if I live a decent moral life by most current cultural measures, I will be subjected to eternal torment and punishment once I die. To me, this "worship me or suffer" attitude is narcissistic and out of line with my own concept of morality. Admiration is not earned through threat of consequence. The infinite punishment for the finite crime of lack-of-belief is both cruel and manipulative.
The fact is, my rational thought leads me to withhold and question belief and I can't change that. In my human experince, I perceive a lack of sufficient evidence and I don't fully understand what the abstraction of a God even is. Can something be "real" if it does not exist in space time for example?
Sure, I could say I believe or act like I do, but that would be in vain and God knows my thoughts, so I am told. My brain and its logic tell me religion is mere mythology, so I suppose I will be joining Carl Sagan in an eternity of suffering all for being curious and sceptical.
Luckily for me, I withhold belief, so my conscience is not shackled with that threat of eternal suffering. I live free from the vague and debated "rules of judgement" by an abstract creator. I live happy and with a free conscience.
I design my morality on a humanistic scale: enhance well-being and limit severe human suffering when possible, for both present and future people. Favor the awe inspiring earth with its plants, animals, water, soil and air, and in return, the earth will be favorable to humans. That is a doctrine to live by.